#11 Without Change There Would Be No Butterflies - College Essay - 1999

"Without change there would be no butterflies," whispered a friend in choir as the Madrigals finished singing our last song together during Graduation last June. I will convey to you as clearly as I can, through samplings of what is important to me and through the eyes of those who know me, who I am today. I like to think about life, in general: friends, music, laughter, the universe and everything. I am very observant and synthesize all my experiences. I metacognate a lot. (Dr. Englund, my AP English teacher, said metacognate means thinking about the things one thinks about in order to improve one's thinking.)

I enjoy watching The Simpsons. Some people don't realize how complex The Simpsons really is. Unlike most TV shows it explores life, the universe and everything, just like I do. I find most of the situations on the show often relate to my life somehow.

"There's so much I don't know about astrophysics!" states a nervous Homer Simpson after accidentally opening a black hole. In my senior year I have fallen in love with the science known as physics. One of the most intriguing experiments we did early in the semester involved setting up a ramp, rolling a ball bearing down and off the edge of the table, and predicting precisely where it was going to land using one measurement of time and distance. Though not a very advanced experiment, I was amazed that we could predict the outcome with such a small amount of information. The ball-bearing-had to hit a bull's eye while the teacher watched and the class created a drumroll. My group was the only group in the class that hit the bull's eye. I' would like to use .the knowledge I will gain in my studies to conduct additional experiments in the physical world. (However, I would like to avoid opening black holes as they are very dangerous.) The experiment showed me it was possible to predict actions in a complicated world.

One moment in early June 1997 changed my life forever_ As a ninth-grade Concert Choir member I had to undergo sight-reading and rhythm testing just like everyone else in the class. After all the tests were over my choir director called me into her office and asked me to sing the National Anthem. I confessed that I did not know the words, half hoping that would get me out of the predicament. "That's all right, go on la'," she said, waving me on. When I finished she spoke with our accompanist in a low whisper. Though three feet away I could not hear the idea they were forming. They immediately informed me that they wanted me to be in the Madrigals, the top choir in the school. I stood stunned with a stupid grin in that completely unexpected moment. I had recently moved from Oregon to California and felt alone, suddenly I was accepted into a special 20-member choir filled with the most academically brilliant, artistic, talented people one could ever hope to meet, never mind work and travel with. They are all my friends now, and many will be lifelong friends. They have motivated me to excel in every subject in school, not just music. Traveling throughout the U.S., we have laughed, lived, and performed together and we have had wonderful conversations.

Of all the classical music we sang, I especially liked certain pieces. "Sing Me to Heaven" is a piece we fell in love with in Seattle at the Heritage Festival. As we keep singing it, we find more meaning in the words and music. The song deals with two basic truths: Love hurts and loss hurts. Usually, we only sing it where there are good acoustics.  Mostly, though, 1 love the Gospel music. A black gospel singer with a voice like Barry White's has tried to coach us. He teaches us what the songs are about. We try to sway but are incapable because we are a predominantly white choir that can't "move." He tries and we try because we love the music. This music is fun because, even as sad as the situations in the music are, the music is deep, richly resonant, and mostly uplifting. The basses can sing really low, which makes them feel manly, and the sopranos get to sing the high notes, creating an ethereal euphony. We get into each piece of music mentally and emotionally. That, and love have been what make the group such a success. As a result I am a more confident and successful individual.

It is difficult to be objective about myself, so I decided to share with you a few comments in my yearbook from classmates and teachers:

"... it has been awesome singing with you for the past three years. You are always awesome on the high note in the National Anthem!" (Brian)

"You are an observant, perceptive person. Thanks for always laughing at my jokes...I really appreciate it." (Jon)

"I will miss your wit and your great outlook... "(Jon Lopez)

"I am really glad I got to know you... Your unique ideas and perceptiveness has kept me on my toes and kept me thinking." (Rick)

"What a pleasure it was having you in U.S. History this year. You were a great escape for me when the class was being "Period 2." Plus, you always got my jokes! You are very talented and that talent will take you far. I hope to have the opportunity to see you in Econ." (Mr. Carpenter)

"I have really appreciated your calm, quiet presence in my crazy Chem class. You have a wonderful intelligence and such a beautiful voice. I wish you luck. Stay in touch." (Mrs. Rankin)

"...Cuidate este verano y to voz bellisima. Te deseo lo mejor. " (Senora Llamas) (Translation: Take care of yourself and your beautiful voice this summer. I want the best for you.)

In my English class last year we read a poem in a Socratic seminar about people wearing masks to try to hide who they really are and what they really want. The masks were figurative, of course, but it holds true that many people are afraid to be themselves and show their true character. A friend of mine wrote this in my yearbook: "It's funny that we've been talking about masks. You are the most real person I've ever met. Normally, one can sense a certain degree of fakeness [sic] in people, but I don't sense that with you. You've been a great friend to me and you may not even know it. I trust you and I can't say that about a lot of high school people. I have more fun with you than most. Maybe it is our constant sarcasm." My friends (and teachers) say that I have saved them from boredom and I make life and learning a lot of fun just being myself. When my friends see me they often spontaneously burst into song with "Oh, Susannah." This spontaneity shows that my friends feel relaxed and open with me because I am consistently the same honest, natural person— no pretenses, no masks.

My experiences in high school have given me a strong character and humorous outlook on life that help me face the challenges of each day. I hope to explore other areas of learning to best utilize my full potential as a human being. I will sing with other choirs, laugh with new friends, and explore new regions of the universe. Without change there would be no butterflies.

©1999